The other day, I was praying about ways that I needed to mature as a person. And I realized that, like most of us, I am not always the most authentic and genuine person. My actions and thoughts do not always reflect who I say that I am. I struggle with the 'chameleon effect' and find myself putting on different masks and exhibiting different personalities depending on who I'm with. I claim to be Christian, but so many of my actions are not Christ-like. I claim to believe in the Gospel, but my life exhibits responses, emotions, and deeds much different than those called forth by it. So much of the time, I am not who I say I am.
In Matthew 27:13, Jesus has been bound up, led away, and handed over to Pontius Pilate. As the chief priests and crowds come forward bearing testimony in opposition to Jesus, Pilate looks at him and says, "Do you not hear how many things they are testifying against you?" As I prayed with this verse this morning, I placed myself in this scenario. And as I did, I knew the answer to the question was YES. Jesus DID hear all that they were saying against him. But I wondered, at that point, if Jesus also heard all that WE testify against him. If the question asked by Pilate was, "Do you not hear how many things, how many generations, and how all of humanity is testifying against you?", what would Christ's response be?
What testimonies WOULD he hear falsifying his name? Jesus said "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life" (John 14:6), but our society testifies that he is not the only way. Our society and our hearts claim that there is truth, life, beauty, and meaning outside of him. Jesus said, "Take courage, for I have conquered the world" (John 17:33), but we doubt. With the daily experience of heartache, the scenes of natural disasters and war, the overwhelming encounter with evil, our hearts testify against the claim that he has conquered the world and instead, we are conquered by despair. Jesus said, "Sell what you have, give to the poor...and then come follow me" (Mark 10:21), but we testify and say that Jesus was exaggerating and that our attachment to the things of this world is okay. Jesus said, "I am the Good Shepherd and I know my sheep" (John 10:14), but we think that he is leading us to lives that are diminished, enslaved, and lacking in beauty, significance, and joy.
But Christ is unlike us. He is authentic. He is wholly genuine. He is who he says he is. And as Pilate asked this question, Christ remained silent. "Like a lamb led to the slaughter or a sheep before the shearers, he was silent and opened not his mouth" (Isaiah 53:7). He did not need to speak, for his actions and his life bore witness to who he was. He life was his testimony. And his death and Resurrection prove our false testimonies wrong.
So today, let us humbly look at our lives of faith and pray that the Spirit might reveal to us the ways our hearts testify against the Lord. May we look at the ways our lives testify falsely to what the Gospel means and who Jesus is. And may we, as Pope Benedict said, "Tell the world that it is beautiful to be a friend of Jesus and that it is well worth following him. With your enthusiasm, demonstrate that, among all the different ways of life that the world today seems to offer us -- apparently all on the same level -- the only way in which we find the true meaning of life and hence true and lasting joy, is by following Jesus." May our false testimonies fade away as we place our trust in Jesus Christ, Our Lord--who is who he says he is.
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