Fr. Ogerchock is a retired priest who says Mass at our parish throughout the week. On many occasions, I have expressed to my youth group and to other people in my life that I think that it should be a requirement for new priests to spend time with him and be mentored by him. And I think this because of all the people in my life, he is the one who most overtly and intentionally displays the love of Christ. His demeanor is inviting; his faith is consistent with the belief of the Church; his heart is overflowing with love. But last week, I gained even more respect for this man. On the feast of St. Jerome, Fr. Ogerchock stood up at the pulpit and preached one of the most beautiful homilies I have heard for awhile on our need for increased desire for the word of God. He was poised. He was eloquent. He preached with confidence. Following this, he led the congregation in the prayers of the faithful and at the end, he added a special intention "for the repose of the soul of my sister who passed away last night".
I couldn't believe that he was able to maintain his composure and to preach with such confidence and intensity in the midst of grief. I couldn't believe that he hadn't called in and asked another priest to say the Mass for him. But as I prayed in my pew after Communion, I was struck with deep admiration for him because of this situation. He didn't let his emotions interfere with his faith. His commitment to spreading the truth of the Gospel was not hindered by the situations of his life. He was firm. He was steadfast. He was confident in Christ.
A few days before this experience, the Gospel reading for the day was Luke 9:57-62. In verse 57, a disciple of Jesus comes forward and professes "I will follow you wherever you go." And Jesus, knowing his heart and knowing the lukewarm faith of many of his followers, starts questioning the bystanders. In the verses following it, he approaches several disciples and says to them "Follow me". And each one quickly responds with an excuse as to why they cannot possibly follow at that particular moment. For each of them, there were things and people and situations they could not abandon entirely so as to follow Christ completely.
I think that when reading this Gospel, I normally think of the "common" things that I need to abandon in order to follow Christ--my desire for material goods, my own plans for my future, and my control over situations. But on this particular day, with my heart stirred by the example of Fr. Ogerchock, I realized how much I need to abandon my own emotions to the Lord so as to follow him entirely. Though I may not come to Jesus and say "let me go first and bury my father", I DO say to Jesus, "let me first stress out about this situation and THEN I'll abandon it to you". I may not say "let me say farewell to my family at home", but I do say "let me be sad about this situation and avoid seeking consolation in you, and THEN I'll come to you when I'm happier." My emotions so often determine the depth of my faith. My emotions sometimes determine my commitment to discipleship.
This week, let us reflect on how much our emotions determine the intensity of our faith and our diligence in living for Christ. When gripped with fear and uncertainty, does our belief in the promises of the Lord remain? In situations where a successful outcome is dependent on us, are we willing to abandon the result to the Lord? In moments of stress, do we seek consolation in Christ or do we wait to come to him when we are more composed? When our patience is tested and loving is difficult, does our desire to act like Christ vanish?
Jesus, despite situations and circumstances and emotions, we abandon ourselves to you. We trust in your care. We respond to your love. We commit our lives to your truth. May we love you as steadfastly and unreservedly as you have loved us.
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