Take It

Today, I feel compelled to write an apology for all of you to see. And I'd like to direct that apology to Mark, the Evangelist. Mark's Gospel has always been the one I've cast aside. I love the length of Matthew's Gospel and his detail in telling about the miracles of Jesus. I love Luke's account of the birth of Jesus and could basically read the story of the Annunciation and Visitation every day. I love John's imagery and distinctiveness in writing. But Mark. We've had troubles. We haven't been close. I've been a little judgmental of the shortness of his account. But Mark's telling of the Passion of Jesus was read on Palm Sunday and for whatever reason, I was so struck by his writing. Because of this reaction to his writing, I decided to use Mark 14-15 as the focus of my prayer in Holy Week. And because of my experience in reading it, I need to say to him "I'M SORRY. You're brilliant."

Though I could write for days about all the revelations the Lord provided me while reading these two chapters of Mark, there is one line I can't help but share. In Mass, we hear the words, "Take this, all of you and eat of it", but in Mark's account of the Last Supper, he recounts Jesus' words by writing, "TAKE IT; this is my body." At first glance, those sentences do not seem to be that different. The concept is the same. But the more I sat with Mark's words, the more I was struck by their beauty and intensity.

As I prayed with these sentences, I started to think of the context in which I would hear someone say "take it." Though there are a myriad of ways that these two words could be used, I thought of two specific scenarios. The first context of hearing someone say "take it" is when a person really wants you to have something, though you keep refusing. Pretend someone really wants to loan me money to help pay for me to go to graduate school and, in pride and in guilt, I keep refusing the offer. With great intensity, I can hear the person say to me "Just take it. I want you to have it." The second context is when every other option has been exhausted and the words are uttered as a sort of surrender. Imagine that siblings are fighting over their father's inheritance after his death, and after months of trying to divide the property out evenly, one brother says to another "Just take it" for he sees no other way for the argument to be resolved.

In the context of the Last Supper, as Jesus says these words, "Take it; this is my body", I think he expresses both of these sentiments simultaneously. Since the very creation of the world, the Father has desired to give the gift of his perfect love to his children. But as we read through the pages of Scripture, we see a constant refusal of his gift. We rejected prophets who came to lead us back to the Father. We grumbled when his perfect will didn't match our "perfect" timing. We rejected the extension of mercy, the words that would give us life, the persistent invitation to come back to the Father's embrace. And with each refusal, sin's clutch grew stronger. Sin's entanglement was more intricate. Death's power had taken hold of us.

So it was in desperation and passionate love that Jesus said the words, "TAKE IT." He speaks these words forcefully, in an attempt to drown out our words of refusal, because he wanted our reconciliation with the Father so badly. The body he desires us to take is the mangled, bloodied, murdered body that he handed over on the Cross, purely out of love for us. It is the body he sacrificed so grace could be ours. It is the body he offered freely so we could experience true freedom. It is the body whose death conquered death. THAT is the body that Jesus wants us to take and ponder and be utterly grateful for. He speaks and his words "take it" are drenched in desire--for us, for our souls, for our reconciliation with the Father.

But he also speaks these words "take it" in acknowledgment that THERE WAS NO OTHER WAY. This was the final option. Every other way had been exhausted. His death was the only possible way for us to be free from sin and death. "Was it not necessary that the Messiah should suffer these things and enter into his glory?" (Luke 24:26). Yes. It was. And thanks be to God that Jesus Christ chose this death for me.

In a song by Na Band called "All I Have is Christ", one of the lines says this: "O Father use this ransomed life in any way you choose". May that be our prayer today. To the one who paid our debt, we give you our lives in return. To the one who desires our salvation more than we do, we give you permission to show us the sin that leads us away from heaven. To the one whose acceptance of the Father's will won victory over sin and death, we ask for grace to die to self for love of you. And with hearts overcome with gratitude for your death and Resurrection, may we say "TAKE IT. TAKE MY LIFE" as forcefully, desperately, and passionately as you did.