Devouring His Word

Until I was about 20 years old, I was one of the pickiest eaters known to man. My diet mostly consisted of cereal, grilled cheese, and chicken nuggets (I'm not exaggerating. I can show you pictures of my weight gain at that age). But around that time, I started to try different foods. Healthier foods. Ethnic foods. And I found that I really love food. That's kind of a silly and almost cliche sentence, but I do. I love eating. I love cooking for people. I love trying new things. Because I love food, though, I must admit that I have a hard time not eating fast. When something is so satisfying to me, I tend to eat quickly, relishing every second that my palate is pleased by my meal. Sorry, people. I'm just never going to be that super classy girl on a date who picks at her meal and doesn't have room for molten lava cake. I'm more likely to be the girl who finishes her rack of lamb in five minutes. When something is so rich and so perfectly delicious, I can't help but consume it immediately.

The book of Ezekiel is one of my favorite books of the Bible. But it is strange. The Lord reveals himself to Ezekiel in very unique and odd ways. In the third chapter of Ezekiel, the Lord comes to the prophet and tells him "Son of man, eat what is before you; eat this scroll, then go speak to the house of Israel". As Ezekiel literally consumes the word of God, he says that "I ate it and it was as sweet as honey in my mouth." He ate with immediacy. He consumed the Word without hesitation. And he was left sweetly satisfied. With that full digestion of the Word, Ezekiel's longing was satiated and his heart was filled with readiness to live his life for the Lord.

If I were to be honest, I am no Ezekiel. I don't heed the words of my Father, asking me to consume the scroll. I am no Jeremiah who passionately writes "When I found your words, I devoured them; they became my joy and the happiness of my heart" (Jeremiah 15:16). Sure, I carry my Bible around with me at all times. I know a lot of Scripture passages. I have been given the gift to communicate the Gospel effectively. But the truth is that the Word of God is not something that I always find so rich and so perfectly delicious that I want to consume it immediately and constantly. Some of the passages are easy to digest and I readily take joy in reading and believing those. But a lot are gritty and tough and I find myself avoiding or discarding those sections that are not immediately satisfying to me.

This lack of full consumption comes from a heart that lacks desire to change and repent. The word of God, when fully ingested, requires sacrifice and surrender and the abandonment of our will. And for many of us, including me, that reality lessens our desire to fully engross ourselves in it. By nibbling on his Word, we are able to maintain our own autonomy that would have to be given up if we fully devoured his word.

But by snacking on Scripture, we deny our Lord the ability to completely nourish and replenish our weary souls. By re-shaping the Gospel to be comfortable and convenient by avoiding the passages that require simplifying our lives and sacrificing our wills, we refuse the Lord's desire to stretch our capacity to love and to fill us with peace and purpose. We deny the Lord the ability to give us the words that would be the "joy and the happiness of [our] hearts."

Paragraph 131 of the Catechism of the Catholic Church states that "such is the force and power of the Word of God that it can serve the Church as her support and vigor, and the children of the Church as strength for their faith, food for the soul, and a pure and lasting fount of spiritual life." May we not see Scripture as a book of rules binding us to a life of constriction and enslavement, but may we see that its demands bring the freedom for which we search. May we be people that "learn to savor how good the Lord is" (Psalm 34:9) as we recognize that everything he asks and teaches us in his Sacred Word is an expression of his perfect love for us. Most Holy Spirit, you who inspired the writing of Scripture, breathe in us that we might cherish, consume and root our lives totally in the "words of eternal life" that are written on these pages.