The Audacity of Us as Followers

Sometimes when I read the Gospels, I just shake my head at some of the things that the disciples of Jesus say to him. One instance in particular often makes me question Jesus' choice of followers. In Mark 10:35, James and John have the audacity to come up to Jesus and say, "Teacher, we want you to do for us whatever we ask of you". Um. Excuse me, guys, but you just said that to the Savior of the World. This Jesus they've been following has cured illnesses, multiplied loaves and fish, and has preached with authority about God; and yet, they have the boldness to come before him and ask him to do whatever they ask.

When I read things like this, my first instinct is to laugh at and think less of the disciples. Until I realize that I'm exactly like them. I may not blatantly say, "Jesus, I want you to do what I tell you", but I indirectly tell him this and more by my thoughts and actions. I say to God, "I want you to stay where I tell you to"; I see him as this pocket-sized Lord who I can pull out at Church or at youth group and then safely tuck him away so that his presence does not pervade the rest of my life. I say to him, "thy will be done as long as it's my will" so that I don't actually have to change the way I'm living or sacrifice any of my plans for him. I say to him "I want you to make it easy to love and follow you" instead of accepting the fact that sacrifice and surrender are job requirements for his disciples.

By each of these demands, I am essentially telling God that I know better than him, that my plans for my future will produce better outcomes, that my love for him is only worth the smallest of sacrifice, and that I have more authority than him. When put in this way, I sound worse than the disciples.

Today, let us recognize the ways that we are placing demands on God and the way he works in our lives. Let us all turn inward to see how rampant pride and self-righteousness have become in our lives. Instead of demanding the Lord to do what we ask of him, let us say to Jesus with confidence: "I will do whatever, I will go wherever, I will love whomever you ask me to". Lord Jesus, we beg you to give us the grace to surrender more of ourselves to you and allow you to be Lord over all our lives.