This past Sunday, I was a Eucharistic Minister for one of the Masses at our parish. And I was given the role of being one of the distributors of the Precious Blood. For whatever reason, most people in the section that I was covering chose to just receive the Body of Christ and did not come to me to receive the Blood. The protocol for those who are cup distributors is that when the last person in your section sits down, you are to consume whatever is left in your chalice. Turning to face the altar, I began to drink and was overwhelmed and embarrassed because I was struggling to consume the amount that was still in my cup. It took me three big gulps to consume the remainder. And when I went back to kneel down in my pew, I was struck by the beauty of this scene. I felt like the Lord had chosen this experience to remind me that he is bigger than me and more abundant than I can consume.
The majority of my life, I pray to the Lord to open my eyes and allow me to understand why certain things happen. I want him to show me my future immediately and at once. I want him to tell me the reason for the suffering that exists in my life and in the world. I want him to expand my mind to know everything there is about him. But I fail to see the gift that it is when he shields me from these things.
Just as I struggled to consume the Precious Blood left in my chalice, the Lord is inviting me to realize that if he were to completely reveal himself to me and to show his authority, power, and might, I wouldn't be able to handle it. I would be like Job, who after the Lord revealed himself, proclaimed in humility, "I have dealt with great things that I do not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I cannot know". Our recognition today must be that his wisdom is beyond the limits of our human minds. His love is more abundant than the smallness of our human hearts. His plans are more glorious and more detailed than we could even fabricate. And in his goodness, he shields us from the totality of himself because we could not handle it.
Pope Benedict once said that "Man was created for greatness--for God himself. He was created to be filled by God. But his heart is too small for the greatness to which it is destined. It must be stretched. By delaying his gift, God strengthens our desire. Through desire he enlarges our soul and by expanding it, he increases its capacity for receiving him". And what a beautiful message this is. Yes, we are created to desire the greatness of God himself. We are created to thirst for the fullness of God to be revealed to us and for us to comprehend the ways of the Lord in totality. But God knows that he whose "ways are not your ways and thoughts are not your thoughts" (Isaiah 55:8) is too big for us to receive at once. We must be stretched. We must receive him in pieces. The smallness of our human capacity can only handle glimpses of the profound nature and splendor of the Father.
I find myself many days praying prayers like "Lord, break my heart for what breaks yours" or "grant me the ability to understand this situation in its entirety". But today, I think the Lord is asking us to change our prayer to a prayer of gratitude that he DOESN'T provide these things. Instead of wrecking our brains trying to understand why the Lord allows suffering, what his ultimate plan is for our life, why certain situations have failed, or why understanding him is so difficult, let us thank the Lord for providing us that which we can handle. Let us thank the Lord for condescending and meeting us where we are. Let us thank him for not overwhelming us with himself. May we humbly announce the words of Psalm 131, "O Lord, my heart is not lifted up. My eyes are not raised too high. I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me. But I have calmed and quieted my soul...for my hope is the Lord this time forth and evermore". And as we do, let us be convinced that the Lord will stretch us today to be able to receive a little bit more of his glory, his revelation, his wisdom, his mercy, and his love.
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