This past weekend, we hosted a youth conference at my parish for about 130 youth. I've been doing youth ministry for over 4 years now and can sincerely say that this was my most favorite retreat thus far. And I say that because I experienced the Lord in ways that I had not yet known. I saw him take the 130 youth and twenty plus young adults who were present and visibly change them. I experienced the Holy Spirit enable me to speak so that at one point I felt as though I could have sat down and watched myself speak because I felt that removed from the words that were coming out of my mouth. At one point, I literally thought, "This is what heaven must be like" as we worshiped the Lord. We prayed that the Spirit would stir up a revolution and move in the hearts of those present, and He delivered. I left at the end feeling consumed by the love of the Lord and completely convicted to serve him with greater fervor.
And then came the next day. Exhausted from a week of little sleep and almost no time to eat, my only thought was: I just want to do nothing--and that included foregoing my daily prayer time. Instead of taking time that day to thank the Lord for the great outpouring of the Spirit and the beautiful way he sustained and nourished us all, I focused on myself. When the worship band packed up, the keynote speaker flew home, and my last duty was finished, my conviction diminished.
I was thinking about this spiritual switch as I was meditating on the great difference in the city of Jerusalem from Palm Sunday to the Passion. The Hosannas that rang through the city on Sunday were drowned out by the "Crucify him" on Friday. The people praised Christ one day and betrayed and tortured him just a few days later. Jesus, who had healed their sick, preached mercy for all, and loved people so deeply and visibly, was now the one who they betrayed. This Jesus, who was crowned King in a time of ease, was condemned to death when persecution became inevitable.
Is this not so similar to our faith? We are fair weather fans of Christ--only willing to praise, surrender, and sacrifice when the situation is just right. It's easy to praise God when things are going well and when sacrifice is minimal. It's easy to abandon our lives to God if that surrender only involves slight change in our lifestyle. It's easy to make time for prayer in a time of consolation, but nearly impossible when spiritual dryness occurs. When the tiredness and busyness appears, where does our faithfulness go? When suffering comes our way, where does our trust go? When the lure of the world attracts us, does our attraction to heaven remain?
This week, I think the Lord is asking me, and maybe you, to answer the question, "Am I really enough"? I think the Lord is asking us to examine the non-negotiables of our faith. If everything we have and everyone we loved were taken from us, would Jesus still be sufficient? If Christ were going to ask us to give up our plan for our future, would our conviction to serve him remain? If we never again experienced the palpable love of the Father, would we still believe that it existed? My fear is that even if I were to receive a lengthy list of graces given to me unmerited, mercy extended abundantly, and the invitation for relationship offered to me repeatedly by the Lord, it still wouldn't be enough for me to truly give my life in complete love of him.
Let this be our goal this week--to be vulnerable enough to examine our non-negotiables when it comes to our relationship with Christ. How much am I willing to sacrifice, suffer, and change for my Lord? How much does my faith depend on the ease of the scenario and how much of it is based on authentic love of my God? As we look at the Cross and the victory won by its victim, may we be moved to actually reflect on why he isn't yet enough. Standing before a God whose mercy is this abundant, may our meditation be, "Why can I not yet give him all"? This week let us ask for the grace to be as obsessed with Jesus as he is for us and let that authentic love keep us committed, faithful, and hopeful in the midst of all situations.
We are all hypocrites in different degrees. We love and follow him when it’s convenient and go astray when the tide turns. Some of us think that we can do better next time or we can confess our sins anyway, so that give us the illusion that we get off the hook for that moment. Truth is, if this does not prevents us from becoming better persons, gives us an excuse not be the best that we can be. We should be the best followers of Christ. We should believe and follow through with it, and that should be realized in our every word, thought and action. Life is a long and arduous journey in search of meaning, and that meaning is only realized when we are one with Christ in mind, body, soul and most of all Heart. The road less travelled is never easy, but it brings you to a great end, and a beginning of a new life.
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